Tuesday, 12 September 2017
Its been 1 week today since we received the great news and honestly speaking its still so surreal for us. We still feel somewhat nervous. I think honestly speaking we not really used to good news. So we not sure how to handle it.
We HAD to buy a pregnancy test just to see that positive (+) sign after so many negatives in the past and wow it was a good feeling to see the results.
We HAD to buy a pregnancy test just to see that positive (+) sign after so many negatives in the past and wow it was a good feeling to see the results.
Wednesday, 21 September 2017
We now about 6/7 weeks in and it still feels pretty surreal to be honest. We feeling super anxious about our scan on Friday. Its the first scan since finding out and we get to hear the heartbeat and check all is ok. My biggest fear and I woke up this morning a hot anxious sweaty mess about it, is not hearing a heart beat. I don't think we could handle any more bad news. I know its such a negative thing to say but honestly we have been sucker punched so many times that we almost naturally prepare for one more.
But on the flip side of the coin, morning sickness is in full swing. I have had to stop on the side of the road on my way to work twice to have a good heave ha ha been at dinners and have had to literally try calm myself down mentally, because certain smells hit the gag reflux immediately and at this stage not everyone knows I am pregnant so trying to keep it on the down low isn't easy ha ha!
Boobs are large, body is large - large all round! Already feel and look about 16 weeks pregnant. Not sure if its the meds but I have literally blown up. My belly is so swollen from the injections and a little bruised as you can see...
But hey no time to complain! I have this little miracle and yup as crazy as it sounds I would do this all over again to get this result!
But on the flip side of the coin, morning sickness is in full swing. I have had to stop on the side of the road on my way to work twice to have a good heave ha ha been at dinners and have had to literally try calm myself down mentally, because certain smells hit the gag reflux immediately and at this stage not everyone knows I am pregnant so trying to keep it on the down low isn't easy ha ha!
Boobs are large, body is large - large all round! Already feel and look about 16 weeks pregnant. Not sure if its the meds but I have literally blown up. My belly is so swollen from the injections and a little bruised as you can see...
But hey no time to complain! I have this little miracle and yup as crazy as it sounds I would do this all over again to get this result!
Friday, 23 SeptemberThe day of our first scan has finally arrived. I know I speak a lot about waiting... but seriously!?
As expected, we barely slept last night, woke-up incredibly anxious. Off to Dr. C we went. I saw my nurse before heading in for the scan and she was so incredible, didn't make me feel like there was a thing to worry about. Which I so needed. In we went for our scan. And there it was... the moment we had waited more than 4 years for... Our little baby... all was good, in fact all was great. When Dr. C. played the heartbeat for us. Wow. It was honestly the most surreal moment I have ever experienced. This was MY baby... this was OUR baby... in MY belly, something I wasn't sure I would ever experience. Both Mr. S and I cried and cried. Best moment, one we will cherish for ever. Baby is due around 10 May 2018, so we are 7 weeks and 1 day exactly today. I have cried about 20 times today, in fact I am still crying. Tears of pure joy... and relief! |
Little Miracles - Big Blessings
Something pretty incredible happened today. I was at work, sitting in my office, when one the ladies on my team came in and asked to chat, which I said without hesitation "sure". When she closed the door I reaslied it was something serious. She looked at me and explained that she wasn't sure how to say what she needed to say, naturally I thought - is she resigning? She looked at me and said "I have a message from God for you", I looked at her and said "ok". She then said that God wants me to know he will give me the child I have been praying for, a little boy. She then asked "do you want a boy?", I then explained I wanted a healthy baby, I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. She then "asked me if I was pregnant". Because it was still so early I was very nervous to tell many people that I am pregnant, because of my past.
Mr. S and I both agreed that we would shout it from the roof tops after 12 weeks and we knew everything was great. So because of this, I didn't want to say "yes I am", but I also didn't wasn't to say "no!" so I said "who knows" and laughed, nervously.
She then explained that God sometimes gives her messages and she has to deliver them so she just wanted me to know he will give me my baby. I tried so hard not to cry. She then left. Left me in complete shock. I sat at my desk and just had this overwhelming sense of - its all going to be ok. I felt at peace. Something I haven't felt for such a long time.
Mr. S and I both agreed that we would shout it from the roof tops after 12 weeks and we knew everything was great. So because of this, I didn't want to say "yes I am", but I also didn't wasn't to say "no!" so I said "who knows" and laughed, nervously.
She then explained that God sometimes gives her messages and she has to deliver them so she just wanted me to know he will give me my baby. I tried so hard not to cry. She then left. Left me in complete shock. I sat at my desk and just had this overwhelming sense of - its all going to be ok. I felt at peace. Something I haven't felt for such a long time.
9 week mark, Start of a New Chapter
6 October 2017, I had my 9 weeks scan today with Dr. C. It honestly just gets better and better. Baby was kicking tiny little arms and legs like mad and happiness is...
But it was also quite an emotional visit. It was my last consult with Dr. C. I was so emotional - this man had become my safety blanket, I wasn't ready to leave him! I cried like a big baby, at one stage he stopped talking and asked me if I was ok HA HA embarrassing! But I was just so sad to leave him. So I cried and cried some more! I gave him the biggest hug when I left.
But I know he now needs to go help other people and I need to move onto my new gynae, one he has referred me to. I see him for our 12 week scan and check-up. Which is SO exciting. 12 weeks is almost here. Unreal.
I honestly feel like the luckiest lady in the world! Lucky enough to have been fortunate enough to find Dr. C, that he could help us and to be here right now, with the most amazing miracle growing inside of me.
But it was also quite an emotional visit. It was my last consult with Dr. C. I was so emotional - this man had become my safety blanket, I wasn't ready to leave him! I cried like a big baby, at one stage he stopped talking and asked me if I was ok HA HA embarrassing! But I was just so sad to leave him. So I cried and cried some more! I gave him the biggest hug when I left.
But I know he now needs to go help other people and I need to move onto my new gynae, one he has referred me to. I see him for our 12 week scan and check-up. Which is SO exciting. 12 weeks is almost here. Unreal.
I honestly feel like the luckiest lady in the world! Lucky enough to have been fortunate enough to find Dr. C, that he could help us and to be here right now, with the most amazing miracle growing inside of me.
12, oh 12, OH 12!
Just like that... the day I have prayed for, hoped for, wished for... has arrived.
I am crying as I write this because ITS HERE!
I CAN SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS
We met our new gynae today (26 October 2017) and he is just incredible!!! 12 weeks, 4 days today. Due date 6 May 2018.
We have finally made it "official".
Here is to the next 6 months of a healthy pregnancy and the introduction of a healthy baba next here May!
No Better Way
Stepping into 2018, 22 weeks pregnant is pretty surreal and there really is no better way to enter a new year. It's been 10 weeks since we announced and honestly being pregnant has been such a blessing. We have received overwhelming support from those around us... family, friends and colleagues, more than we could have ever hoped for.
For the first time, as far back as I can remember, I have no big plans, resolutions and aspirations for the year ahead. It's pretty simply for me this year... enjoy the next 4 months of being pregnant and then enjoy the next chapter of my life - becoming a mother.
How has the second trimester been?
I must be honest I have been so blessed in the sense that I have loved being pregnant! Sure let's be honest being pregnant isn't "pretty"... the wonderful dimples that appear all over, the horrendous heartburn, the large boosems (oh boy do I have large boosems), "great" dark and large nipples, incredibly sore feet, the inevitable weight gain, a few sporadic vomits you can't control... it's like an alien invasion ha ha so sure it's not the sexiest time of my life but honestly having this baby grow inside of me and be with me each and every day is the most surreal feeling I have ever experienced. Sexy is overrated anyway! ;)
In the last week she has started moving tons! Yup SHE… it’s a girl. I didn’t do a post about this, we had a gender reveal a few weeks back and found out that we are having a baby girl. Are we happy? OVER THE MOON! All we wanted was a healthy baby, gender was always completely irrelevant for us! Back to me feeling her move…wow wow wow. I may change my mind about this in my third trimester ha ha but that feeling in there - that's my child. Unfathomable.
A year ago I had convinced myself I would never carry my own child and I made peace with it. Here I am a year later, 4 and a half months pregnant. I actually have no words to describe how thankful I am - an overwhelming feeling of gratitude!
So yes, there are the tough, tired, miserable and moody days, but all in all I am loving every moment of this new journey and I am beyond excited for what lies ahead for 2018!
May 2018 be everything you had hoped for and more. Fight hard for what you want and never give up. Happy New Year xxx
For the first time, as far back as I can remember, I have no big plans, resolutions and aspirations for the year ahead. It's pretty simply for me this year... enjoy the next 4 months of being pregnant and then enjoy the next chapter of my life - becoming a mother.
How has the second trimester been?
I must be honest I have been so blessed in the sense that I have loved being pregnant! Sure let's be honest being pregnant isn't "pretty"... the wonderful dimples that appear all over, the horrendous heartburn, the large boosems (oh boy do I have large boosems), "great" dark and large nipples, incredibly sore feet, the inevitable weight gain, a few sporadic vomits you can't control... it's like an alien invasion ha ha so sure it's not the sexiest time of my life but honestly having this baby grow inside of me and be with me each and every day is the most surreal feeling I have ever experienced. Sexy is overrated anyway! ;)
In the last week she has started moving tons! Yup SHE… it’s a girl. I didn’t do a post about this, we had a gender reveal a few weeks back and found out that we are having a baby girl. Are we happy? OVER THE MOON! All we wanted was a healthy baby, gender was always completely irrelevant for us! Back to me feeling her move…wow wow wow. I may change my mind about this in my third trimester ha ha but that feeling in there - that's my child. Unfathomable.
A year ago I had convinced myself I would never carry my own child and I made peace with it. Here I am a year later, 4 and a half months pregnant. I actually have no words to describe how thankful I am - an overwhelming feeling of gratitude!
So yes, there are the tough, tired, miserable and moody days, but all in all I am loving every moment of this new journey and I am beyond excited for what lies ahead for 2018!
May 2018 be everything you had hoped for and more. Fight hard for what you want and never give up. Happy New Year xxx
28 Weeks, 3rd Trimester
18 February 2018, so this week we are 28 weeks pregnant, 29 weeks tomorrow, kicking off the third trimester. I have had many warnings and seen lots of memes about the third trimester and ha ha it should be interesting!
Now that we have reached the last stretch I have been thinking about my pregnancy and how it’s quite interesting, much like anything in life, before I fell pregnant I had all these preconceived ideas of what I would and wouldn’t do / say / be like etc… until I actually fell pregnant.
What I thought:
What was:
Through it all you just have to remember to laugh and remind yourself that it really is all just a small price to pay for whats to come. I am also so incredibly thankful for an understanding and supportive husband. I have at times thought I was a little crazy and he keeps reassuring me "its all normal you are doing great, dont be so hard on yourself". Gosh shame I do wonder what he really thinks... CRAZY WOMAN! LOL! Also just be realistic about what you can and cant do and make peace with it. It really is ok. How you experience pregnancy and what you are capable of is so different to anyone else. So embrace it and accept it!
I shall check in, in a few weeks and let you know how it’s going and report back if there is any truth on the warnings and memes of the third trimester.
Now that we have reached the last stretch I have been thinking about my pregnancy and how it’s quite interesting, much like anything in life, before I fell pregnant I had all these preconceived ideas of what I would and wouldn’t do / say / be like etc… until I actually fell pregnant.
What I thought:
- I was going to be fit, train until the very last minute that I could.
- I was going to be super healthy – I wouldn’t eat anything processed, I would glug my green juices and live off minimal carbs.
- I would be the happiest pregnant lady there ever was. I had to fight like hell to get here so there was no way I was ever going to complain! Because wow you do get moaners.
What was:
- Fitness: Ha ha what’s that? So yes I have walked and done an odd preggy yoga class, but honestly speaking that has been the extent of my fitness during pregnancy. I couldn’t do much for the first few weeks because of the IVF, after that I kicked around the pool at home and had big plans to do a daily evening walk and yoga ball exercises in my lounge – I have the ball… um I use it to bounce on and watch TV now, sure that counts right? When the first trimester kicked in I battled keeping my eyes open on my way home from work at 4pm in the afternoon, so the thought of anything physical – YUCK! Then second trimester I walked tons because I felt great! Now heading into my third my feet are taking major strain from the extra weight and swell a lot so I try walk as much as I can but them feet don’t love it!
- Healthy eating: this is a funny one, so many opinions here! So yes I get my greens in somehow, even if it’s a green juice. But I certainly am not glugging them down, that’s for sure. A friend of mine is a couple of weeks pregnant and a few days ago she messaged me and sent a pic of this delicious healthy dinner she prepared – some delicious salmon and salad and she said she just couldn’t face it. Not one bite. She called her hubby and insisted he bring Mac Donald's home for dinner. I had such a laugh because this is first trimester for you. This was exactly me - I had great intentions in the first trimester, would cook these amazing healthy dinners and I simply couldn’t have one bite. I would often opt for a slice or two of toast rather. So eventually I gave up the cooking these healthy meals and simply ate what I wanted at the time, because this changed on the minute ha ha. I really do try get the good stuff in and try not have too much sugar etc. But I am definitely not that hectic pregnant woman checking labels for preservatives, tartrazine, sugar etc… like I thought I would be.
- Moods: Oh wow. My POOR Mr S. and a few other casualties a long the way (sorry!) so yes I am grateful each and every single day! But showee as time goes by I definitely have seen a change in my moods, something I have NO control over. People are just SO much worse when you pregnant ha ha its so funny (but not). There is just simply no way of escaping those pregnancy hormones. I have had a few random days when I just cry and cry, for no real reason. One or two JUST LEAVE ME ALONE days too. I attempted to go clothing shopping 2 weeks ago, oh dear not sure why I did that. Firstly the sizes (hides face), secondly the fit of normal clothes is pretty much a no go at this stage not sure why I keep persevering and thirdly, but seriously, WHO THE HECK DESIGNED SUCH AWFUL DRESSING ROOM MIRRORS? Come now people! Surely they should make like slim mirrors in dressing rooms by now? I am certain this would help sales! You can see every dimple, every roll, and every single bloody kilogram in those mirrors. So needless to say I have banned myself for a while, online shopping it shall be.
Through it all you just have to remember to laugh and remind yourself that it really is all just a small price to pay for whats to come. I am also so incredibly thankful for an understanding and supportive husband. I have at times thought I was a little crazy and he keeps reassuring me "its all normal you are doing great, dont be so hard on yourself". Gosh shame I do wonder what he really thinks... CRAZY WOMAN! LOL! Also just be realistic about what you can and cant do and make peace with it. It really is ok. How you experience pregnancy and what you are capable of is so different to anyone else. So embrace it and accept it!
I shall check in, in a few weeks and let you know how it’s going and report back if there is any truth on the warnings and memes of the third trimester.
Last "Stretch"
13 April 2018, Wow, can you believe I am 36 weeks this week...
9 months!?!?! On the one hand I say OMG wow where did time go, but on the other hand I feel like FINALLY it’s almost here – because we have waited so long for this.
So yes I am pretty much ready – hospital bags are packed and waiting, baby nursery almost done, all clothes packed and washed… we are ready!!!
Last few weeks have been a little rough, I officially feel very pregnant! Everyone warns you about the last few weeks, LOL boy oh boy were they right! It’s not easy! Had a rough week at 34 weeks, felt so ill, caught the flu and my body just didn’t feel good at all. After my check up all was ok other than my body fighting the flu I realised "Carmen you are pregnant!" and this is what "they" meant. Battling to sit, stand, sleep… battling! Exhausted. Sore. But hey this is pregnancy peeps. Its not an illness, but you are growing a human and umm it seems we have a little / big one on our hands.
Baby Steynie has always measured on the average side of the growth chart which is great, no concerns. But when I got onto the bed for my scan this week the Gynae looked at my belly with large eyes and said “where did this baby come from??”. His eyes got wider and wider as he did the measurements on the scan LOL and he ended off looking at us both super shocked and said “she is just under 3.2kgs” I was super chuffed! So this little one grew by almost 1.2kgs in the last 3 weeks, madness ha ha! But it meant that the news that followed wasn’t all that bad…
I had plans for a natural birth - birth is really not something I have ever felt comfortable with to be honest, but its amazing how when its you something in you kicks in and you realise just how phenomenal it is! But... during our scan he told us that natural wasn’t possible, which when announcing her size in hindsight perhaps is a blessing. Reason being that for the last 6 weeks she has been breach and this week she still hasn't engaged so we have booked our Caesar for the 26 April, 2 weeks.
We are beyond excited!!!!!
Over the last few weeks we have been so blessed, my amazing friends and family hosted the most phenomenal baby shower for me – WOW! Then work also hosted one for us last week, again WOW! I often have to pinch myself because I actually can’t understand how we got this lucky! We have such phenomenal people in our life, we really do!
So 2 more weeks… can you believe how this journey has evolved? I cant! I have to keep reminding myself this is real.
I will keep you posted on the arrival of Baby Steynie. No idea what to expect but without doubt I know its going to be indescribably phenomenal!
I will load a gallery section in the next couple of days to share pics of my baby showers, maternity shoot etc. Keep an eye out.
9 months!?!?! On the one hand I say OMG wow where did time go, but on the other hand I feel like FINALLY it’s almost here – because we have waited so long for this.
So yes I am pretty much ready – hospital bags are packed and waiting, baby nursery almost done, all clothes packed and washed… we are ready!!!
Last few weeks have been a little rough, I officially feel very pregnant! Everyone warns you about the last few weeks, LOL boy oh boy were they right! It’s not easy! Had a rough week at 34 weeks, felt so ill, caught the flu and my body just didn’t feel good at all. After my check up all was ok other than my body fighting the flu I realised "Carmen you are pregnant!" and this is what "they" meant. Battling to sit, stand, sleep… battling! Exhausted. Sore. But hey this is pregnancy peeps. Its not an illness, but you are growing a human and umm it seems we have a little / big one on our hands.
Baby Steynie has always measured on the average side of the growth chart which is great, no concerns. But when I got onto the bed for my scan this week the Gynae looked at my belly with large eyes and said “where did this baby come from??”. His eyes got wider and wider as he did the measurements on the scan LOL and he ended off looking at us both super shocked and said “she is just under 3.2kgs” I was super chuffed! So this little one grew by almost 1.2kgs in the last 3 weeks, madness ha ha! But it meant that the news that followed wasn’t all that bad…
I had plans for a natural birth - birth is really not something I have ever felt comfortable with to be honest, but its amazing how when its you something in you kicks in and you realise just how phenomenal it is! But... during our scan he told us that natural wasn’t possible, which when announcing her size in hindsight perhaps is a blessing. Reason being that for the last 6 weeks she has been breach and this week she still hasn't engaged so we have booked our Caesar for the 26 April, 2 weeks.
We are beyond excited!!!!!
Over the last few weeks we have been so blessed, my amazing friends and family hosted the most phenomenal baby shower for me – WOW! Then work also hosted one for us last week, again WOW! I often have to pinch myself because I actually can’t understand how we got this lucky! We have such phenomenal people in our life, we really do!
So 2 more weeks… can you believe how this journey has evolved? I cant! I have to keep reminding myself this is real.
I will keep you posted on the arrival of Baby Steynie. No idea what to expect but without doubt I know its going to be indescribably phenomenal!
I will load a gallery section in the next couple of days to share pics of my baby showers, maternity shoot etc. Keep an eye out.